Freaks and Geeks

Freaks and Geeks aired on television between 1999-2000. Only 18 episodes of this series were made before it was cancelled.

Freaks and Geeks, created by Judd Apatow and Paul Feig (Knocked Up, The 40 Year Old Virgin...) was based on the lives of two groups of students at McKinley high school in 1980.

The freaks

Lindsay, Kim, Daniel, Ken and Nick

and the geeks

Sam, Neal and Bill

Below, I have added some of the best quotes from the series:

The freaks:

Ken Miller: I have to get into a bar. Everything fun in life happens in bars.

Millie Kentner: You're high!

Lindsay Weir: How could you tell?

Millie Kentner: I know what high people look like. I went to a Seals and Crofts concert last summer.

Nick Andopolis: Wow, that dinner smells good. Let me guess... meat?

Daniel Desario: You guys know Lindsay?

Nick Andopolis: Yeah, you were in my English class last year. You were the chick that got an A, right?

Lindsay Weir: Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?

Ken Miller: I don't know. What are you gonna do?

Daniel Desario: Am I a loser?

Harris Trinsky: You're not a loser 'cause you have sex, but if you weren't having sex, we could definitely debate the issue.

Daniel Desario: I wrote out some Ramones songs.

Nick Andopolis: The Ramones? They only use like three chords.

Daniel Desario: So? I'll learn another one.

Nick Andopolis: I mean, what's the difference between disco and Zeppelin?

Discotheque DJ: Aren't you one of those guys who's always running in here yelling 'disco sucks?' What's the matter, cat got your bong, man? Is that how you learned to communicate? Running in here and yelling stuff? Is that what your precious "rock and roll" teaches you?

Ken Miller: No, it teaches me that DISCO SUCKS!

Nick Andopolis: Hey, I believe in god, man. I've seen him, I've felt his power! He plays drums for Led Zeppelin and his name is John Bonham, baby!

Kim Kelly: Are you calling me irrational? Because I'll tear your head off, Daniel. I'll tear it off and I'll throw it over that fence.

[Kim Kelly cranks up the car stereo] Daniel Desario: Will you knock it off, Blondie, you're gonna blow the speakers.

Kim Kelly: Oh I'm sorry Grandpa, I'll try not to blow anything of yours from now on.

Kim Kelly: [sobbing] You're, like, my only friend Lindsay! And you're a total loser!

Ken Miller: I always say girl plus car equals dead animal.

Kim Kelly: My aunt Cathy was so rad. She lived in L.A. She was on Kojak. She doinked Ryan O'Neal once at a party.

Lindsay Weir: Wow, she sounds awesome.

Kim Kelly: Yeah, well, she's dead. She OD'd on coke.

Lindsay Weir: [while hitchhiking] We're so sheltered, you know? There's this whole other America out there. The person who picks us up could be an artist or a psychic or an escaped felon. This is so exciting!

Lindsay Weir: [about Tuba Girl] Oh, my God, you really like her, don't you?

Ken Miller: I feel... odd.

Jean Weir: (looking for Lindsays diary) If my parents ever read my diary, I would have been furious. Such a violation.

Harold Weir: Spooning with a stranger in the back of a van, now that's a violation!

Jeff Rosso: How dumb do I look?

Ken Miller: Do you really want to know?

Lindsay Weir: [about Mr. Rosso] Have you ever looked at him? He's kinda good looking.

Kim Kelly: Yeah, if you're attracted to guys that look like Jesus.

Jeff Rosso: I. Have. Herpes. It doesn't hurt that much, but believe me, you don't want it.

Lindsay Weir: Can I please go now?

Jeff Rosso: I just blew your mind, didn't I.

Nick Andopolis: Hey, I heard Kim got an "A" on her Western Civics exam.

[beat] Nick Andopolis: Oh no, that was *my* girlfriend. Hmm, but did you know that Lindsay got detention for flipping off her gym teacher?

[beat] Nick Andopolis: No, wait, that was *your* girlfriend! Hmm.

Daniel Desario: I heard that Kim hit you really hard in the chest. [beat]

Daniel Desario: No wait. That was me.

Daniel Desario: [slams Nick in the chest and walks away]

Nick Andopolis: Wow, that was really hard.

The Geeks....

Neal Schweiber: The dance is tomorrow. She's a cheerleader, you've seen Star Wars 47 times. You do the math.

Sam Weir: It's Cindy. She's kind of boring. It's weird hanging out with her friends. And, I mean, all she wants to do is make out and stuff.

Neal Schweiber: I'd kill to be that bored.

Bill Haverchuck: I heard my mom say to her girlfriend, "Any guy with feathered hair is *foxy*."

Bill Haverchuck: Fredericks, you're a turd... a stinky f-fat turd, go sniff a jock strap, you poop head. You love patting boys' butts... butt... you butt-patter! You're a perv and a loser and a stinky t-turd!

Bill Haverchuck: Remember that time in civics when I had to fart, and it came out, well, a poop? And I had to flush my undies down the toilet? Do you think I wanted to tell you that?

Bill Haverchuck: It's a Parisian night suit, in case you didn't know.

Gordon Crisp: A Parisian! Ooh la la!

Neal Schweiber: It's not a parisian. It's a jumpsuit. My grandfather in Florida wears them all the time because he's too lazy to put on pants!

Neal Schweiber: My mom says women prefer guys with a good sense of humor.

Bill Haverchuck: But, uh, you're not funny.

Neal Schweiber: Screw you, I'm hilarious!

Neal Schweiber: So I wake up this morning, and guess what is sitting on the end of my bed?

Bill Haverchuck: A turd?

Neal Schweiber: Yes, Bill, a turd.

Bill Haverchuck: Ewwwwww! Gross!

Neal Schweiber: An Atari video set. Is my dad the coolest, or what? So shall we say Asteriods, my place, 3:30?

Bill Haverchuck: Yeah, if that's when you wanna get your butt kicked.

Bill Haverchuck: If I were Bionic Woman, what would I wear?

Neal Schweiber: I'm Jewish. That's no cakewalk either. Last year, I was elected school treasurer. I didn't even run!

Bill Haverchuck: Cindy cut the cheese.

Neal Schweiber: Oh my god!

Sam Weir: Shut up.

Bill Haverchuck: I'm serious. She blamed it on the chair.

Sam Weir: Well, what kind of chair was it?

Bill Haverchuck: I don't know. Vinyl?

Sam Weir: Vinyl chairs always squeak!

Bill Haverchuck: It wasn't the sound of vinyl squeaking. It was the sound of cheese being cut.

Bill Haverchuck: You know what would be cool? To find a girl in a bottle, like "I Dream of Jeanie". I'd like to make out with her on that little couch.

Sam Weir: Yeah, Cindy would look good in those puffy pants.

Sam Weir: What's non-alcoholic beer?

Bill Haverchuck: It's just like beer, it just doesn't have that ingredient that makes you drunk. Neal Schweiber: ...Alcohol?

Bill Haverchuck: Yeah.

Neal Schweiber: Friday night, always a good night for some Sabbath. [Lindsay looks at him]

Neal Schweiber: ... 'cause, you know, Friday? is the the Sabbath... for the Jews.

Sam Weir: What am I gonna say to Cindy?

Bill Haverchuck: Don't say anything. Be dominant. It's all, all about dominance. I saw this monkey show on PBS, if you talk to her first, it's a sign of weakness and she will not pick you to be her mate.

Sam Weir: Are you drunk?

Bill Haverchuck: I think so, yes I am.

Sam Weir: Aw, man, go into my room, lock the door, and don't drink any more.

Bill Haverchuck: [after Sam leaves] That's very dominant.

Sam Weir: We're not adults. We're kids until we turn 18.

Neal Schweiber: Maybe you are, but when I hit 13, I became a man.

Bill Haverchuck: That's only in your temple, Neil, not in the real world.

Neal Schweiber: [about his Halloween costume] Hm... looking for Chaplin, only seeing Hitler.

Bill Haverchuck: [about his fake breasts, as the Bionic Woman for Halloween] No, these are not bionic. These are all me.

Alan White: [on Halloween, Bill is in costume] Shut up, you little girl.

Bill Haverchuck: I'm not a little girl, I'm a bionic woman.

Sam Weir: You look a little bit like my grandpa.

Bill Haverchuck: Oh, is your grandpa super cool?

Sam Weir: Hey Harris, what kind of presents do you get Judith?

Harris Trinsky: Judith has very particular tastes. About the only thing she ever wants is scented oils and plenty of time with her man.