You know what really grinds my gears? Part 3 (A) Expressions

When people call someone a mover and shaker - unless if they are referring to Muhammad Ali, this expression makes no sense.










I will continue with more annoying expressions at a later date, any suggestions will be welcomed.

You know what really grinds my gears? Part 2 - The Elderly (GERROWAMEWAY!!!)

Reasons why old people annoy me:
1. Their slow movement, everywhere - getting on the bus if I'm standing behind one takes 10 minutes to get to my seat, or in a shop, at the counter purchasing whatever it is that old people buy (usually related to angina in some way) they decide to either start chatting with the shop staff or giving out, produce a Dunnes bag full of 1cent coins and then decide that they'll get a telly bingo ticket and a copy of Ireland's Own while they're at it.

2. Repetition: They feckin repeat everything - for example bus numbers.....'Mary, which bus is that'.....'The 122'....'eh'......'the 122'.....'oh, the 122, I think that'll bring me to St. Peters Church....the 122....so it will....122'.

3.Entitlement: If I see another bus full of perfectly healthy old people occupying every seat while a heavily pregnant woman has to stand I'll throw one of them off the bus myself (while pocketing her bus pass for future use).

4.Lotto wins: I mean....what are they going to do with that money.....they'll be dead soon...give it to me instead.

5. They stink of soup.

7 things most people don't know about me.....

1. I'm a geek - I love the sci fi channel, reading science fiction, watching programmes about sharks. But I have never been to a convention.

2. I like Big Brother..........sorry.

3. A few days before my wedding, I got a vomiting (and diarrohea) bug......I woke up that evening to a fart coming out as well....a poop!

4. Radge is my brother. I've tried to deny it for quite a while now but I have to admit it.....and yes, he is a bollox.

5. Technically, I am a paid prostitute............................................I was prostitute number 18 in the Tudors upcoming season 4.

6.I'm a northside Dub from Limerick - but don't worry, I won't stab you.

7. I had my first art exhibition at the tender age of 8.....unfortunately its all gone downhill since then.

(again, sorry about Big Brother).

You know what really grinds my gears? - Part 1.

People who take forkfulls of food repeatedly before swallowing - they then end up with 10 forkfuls of food in their mouth.......this is particularly irritating with soup, and fizzy drinks on the bus.

10 things I want to do/happen but either never will or should not do....

1. Become a professional artist, full time of course.


2. Write a novel or screenplay.


3. Win booker prize/oscar.


4. Kick a pigeon.

Dramatisation: may never happen.

5. Successfully annihilate the following: Ryan Tubridy, Tuna, Gerry Ryan, Brian Cowen, all artists better than me (that'll be fucking easy as shite!), weekdays, mornings, alarm clocks, Ryan Tubridys eviler twin, Radge......I could go on but I think I have the most important ones.

6. Win lotto - spend money on sweets.

7. Run own business, business becomes very successful, eventually rule the world with said business.

8. Move the sunny weather to Ireland. It's very depressing at the moment...think I have the sniffles, or swine flu....

9. Find a cure for swine flu.

10. Can't think of a tenth, I'm not greedy.

Hungover

Mwaahhhheeuughhteeeeoooooo!!!!!"%^&*(((7%$%!!!!!?????t£^^$$&*&(^^%*%&$£%£%*^(*^(*%$^$*^(&*(&(*&(ow%*%*&^*^&*^*^*%*&%$%£%$£%£%£%£%$£%^£thud.

RIP Late Late

It was announced the other day that the walking talking tool that is Ryan Tubridy is going to take over hosting the Late Late show. I know many people would have considered Pat Kenny's stint on the Late Late to be the death of it, and I agree to some extent - Pat Kenny was like the Late Late contracted HIV - Ryan Tubridy is full blown AIDS. Not the kind where you get AIDS and take some pills and you're grand for about 10 years, but the kind where it hits you like a brick wall and takes you out within a couple of months while sores grow all over your body and you look like a reject from leprosy camp.

Ryan Tubridy: leaning bollocks.

I mean look at him there, leaning, like a walking bollocks. Awww - don't you just want to kick him in the face. This decision by RTE leads me to further believe that they go out of their way to employ arseholes, just to piss us off. Between him up there, Gerry Ryan, Pat Kenny and all the other fuckers earning more money than I'll ever get in my whole life its like the executives at RTE are playing one big joke on us....maybe they'll eventually use it as a threat:

'Keep paying your TV licence or we will build an army of Ryan Tubridys who will eventually take over the world...' or something to that effect.

I could go on about my hatred towards him and all things RTE but I've decided to stop here. I'll just get angry.

The pain! The pain!

I had 3 wisdom teeth taken out on Friday. Since then I have been limited to eating a variety of mashed up foods and the hunger has taken over. I'm afraid this is going to be a very poor blog. I am so tired I cannot function, the mixture of the anasth...anaestheti..you know - wearing off, the medications, the lack of sleep and hunger mean that I can barely open my eyes or lift my legs. In work now and wondering why I didn't take advantage of the week long med cert the doctor gave me. To sleep perchance to...................................................................................................

Ironing.

I have 3 wisdom teeth that need to be removed.

In order to go ahead with the operation, I had a blood test.

I received the results the other day - low iron. I'm now taking supplements.

Because of this.....my poo is black.

(Radge - are you happy now?!?)