Falling Slowly

Yesterday after work I was travelling home on the bus. Sitting on the upper deck, a fella gets on the bus, drunk off his tree, he attempts to get up the stairs of the bus but falls face first on the top step.

As he tries to readjust himself, he leans back and in the most comical manner falls backwards, in slow motion down the stairs of the bus. Seconds later, he has pulled himself back up and completed his journey to the top of the bus, swaggering from side to side on the way.

When he eventually finds a seat, it was directly behind me (fucking typical). In what I thought was him kicking the seat, I turned around to see that he had fallen asleep and his head was banging against the back of my seat as the bus was driving. The poor girl sitting on the window seat beside him wanted to get off the bus and after numerous attempts to get the dipso to move he finally awoke:
"Sorry, I need to get off the bus please."
"Courshe ye cann!" He shouts at the top of his voice as he stands up to let her off, holding on to the nearest seats, falling backwards:
"Whoopshedaishe!!!!"

He sat back in his seat and fell asleep again.

Christmas in Dublin has arrived.

He was also the spitting image of Glen Hansard.

The Art of Humanity

As an artist, I sometimes feel like I see things in people that others don't. I could be wrong, maybe everyone sees these things but we all remain silent in the hope that either we are alone in our own personal outlook on life or we fear being judged by others for feeling this way.

I often feel a terrible sadness overcome me when I look at people - friends, loved ones, colleagues and complete strangers. When I look at someone, I often see their humanity - it may be from a shy smile as they are reading a text on the bus, a glimpse of sadness and awkwardness when eating alone mixed with their enjoyment of their cheese and bacon sandwich, a smile turn to sadness from being mocked or dissapointed and it goes on.

The reason why all of this fills me with sadness is once I see it, I hate to think of the fact that there really are so many unbelieveable people in the world, that someday they will feel pain and heartache. Someday they will die.

I am aware of how morbid all of this sounds, I promise not to continue blogging in such a depressing way. This is just something that's part of me and I feel I need to write about it.

It's quite frustrating being someone who looks at the world, at people, in such a way. As I said previously, I am an artist and I have always wanted to be able to transfer my own views of the world on to the canvas - but I get frustrated and instead of painting a beautiful portrait I throw some paint around the canvas and say "It's abstract....you wouldn't understand."

But I'll never stop trying.